assiest:

sex-doesnt-alarm-me:

assiest:

i am 41 cheetos tall 

Why did you think you needed to measure yourself in Cheetos?

we were out of doritos 

(via pizza)

surprisebitch:

me as a parent

(Source: twerkgifs, via oxeh)

guy:

when the artist u hate releases a catchy song

image

(via pizza)

writedreamlie:

livelong-mywaywardson:

pizzaccio:

dontworryitsharmony:

sweetmickeymerch:

Coming up with schemes with your best friend

Was this movie even real

HOW DOES AN 80 YEAR OLD WOMAN HAVE THE SAME CARDIO AS FIT ATHLETIC MUSCLE MAN THIS SHOW MAN

a dude turned into a llama and you’re questioning why an old lady is as fit as a muscly guy 

writedreamlie:

livelong-mywaywardson:

pizzaccio:

dontworryitsharmony:

sweetmickeymerch:

Coming up with schemes with your best friend

Was this movie even real

HOW DOES AN 80 YEAR OLD WOMAN HAVE THE SAME CARDIO AS FIT ATHLETIC MUSCLE MAN THIS SHOW MAN

a dude turned into a llama and you’re questioning why an old lady is as fit as a muscly guy 

(via shewho-runs-withwolves)

erinkrystynax:

crimewave420:

2chaaaain:

grates:

please someone reassure my this is just fuckin  w people right.

this is bullshit what the fuck

Wait y’alls cups are really that small? holy fuck

why the fuck anyone needs 1.3L of coke in one sitting is beyond me but anyway

erinkrystynax:

crimewave420:

2chaaaain:

grates:

please someone reassure my this is just fuckin  w people right.

this is bullshit what the fuck

Wait y’alls cups are really that small? holy fuck

why the fuck anyone needs 1.3L of coke in one sitting is beyond me but anyway

(via pizza)

trillgamesh:

jk rowling unilaterally writing that not a single member of slytherin house fought in the battle of hogwarts and instead every single one of them hid like cowards is honestly one of the laziest most flaccid writing decisions of our time

(via oxeh)

Anonymous Asked:
omg if baby oil dissolves condoms what the fuck does it do to babies???

the-kellin-under-the-vic:

This may be shocking, but babies and condoms are made of different material

magnezone:

don’t get it twisted like i respect bugs for being the best they can be in spite of their specific assigned flesh prisons and their ecological significance but they need to stay the fuck away from me 

(via captainhanni)

Ever find yourself singing along to a song, only to realize

"oh, wait, I hate this song."

roachpatrol:

pardonmewhileipanic:

pardonmewhileipanic:

So I was looking at this terrible lingerie shop and….

bringing this back

she criticizes the taste of your meat for half an hour then storms off, it’s very erotic

(via comicfixation)

carry-on-my-consulting-tardis:

I have two moods 

One is highly sophisticated intellectual who goes into complex thoughts and is always moody and deep

the other is an immature 5 year old that doesn’t know how to control herself or her language or her actions

there is no inbetween

(Source: lydiamartuin, via pizza)

olitwist:

and the horror movie begins

(Source: Washington Post, via shewho-runs-withwolves)